take me away
from the cast of
a longing grasp
blindly in your
shadow I am
and losing myself
in the bitterness
Maybe I can be
Or no, maybe
I just want
you to start
Then I am
and I will
I was in the middle of my writing when I realized my Blackberry notification light was flashing. It was an email, from my hubby.
Hmm? He was supposed to be in the bathroom next door, doing ‘business no. 2’. The email said, “Hi honey I love you. Regards, Andrew A”
‘What’s with this romantic gesture all of a sudden?’, my suspicion flared. Still, flattered and giggled like a school kid, I replied, “cheeky baby, I love you, too :)”.
Around 10 minutes afterwards, he skipped into the office, gave me a hug and asked, “have you received my email?”
“uhm, yes, I have replied”. “Oh?”. He checked his iPhone, and continued, “ah it worked. I tried using Siri to send an email to you before. It actually worked :D”
…… *cue my mouth going O; speechless*
Sensing something was not right, he quickly added, “but I do love you, mu :D”
Yea, yea.. I felt a little bit deflated, but had a good laugh, nonetheless. Good laughs over silly, trivial things, is good for you, I guess 🙂
You may not know me,
but I know everything about you.
I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
I am familiar with all your ways.
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
For you were made in my image.
In me you live and move and have your being.
For you are my offspring.
I knew you even before you were conceived.
I chose you when I planned creation.
You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book.
I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
I knit you together in your mother’s womb.
And brought you forth on the day you were born.
I have been misrepresented
by those who don’t know me.
I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1
Simply because you are my child
and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
For I am the perfect father.
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Because I love you with an everlasting love.
My thoughts toward you are countless
as the sand on the seashore.
And I rejoice over you with singing.
I will never stop doing good to you.
For you are my treasured possession.
I desire to establish you
with all my heart and all my soul.
And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
If you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me.
Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.
For it is I who gave you those desires.
I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.
For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I am also the Father who comforts you
in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4
When you are brokenhearted,
I am close to you.
As a shepherd carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to my heart.
One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.
And I’ll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.
I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love my son, Jesus.
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
He is the exact representation of my being.
He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you.
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
His death was the ultimate expression
of my love for you.
1 John 4:10
I gave up everything I loved
that I might gain your love.
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,
you receive me.
1 John 2:23
And nothing will ever separate you
from my love again.
Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party
heaven has ever seen.
I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
My question is…
Will you be my child?
I am waiting for you.
Love, Your Dad
I’ve spent some time thinking about my personal happiness commandments, and the first question I asked myself was,
“What makes me happy?”.
I could think of some answers.
Having a good laugh with good friends.
‘Me time’; good book to read, painting my nails, writing.
Singing; it makes me happy most of the time.
Goofing around with my husband at home.
Snuggles with my mom, recalling old stories.
Snuggles with my husband after a long day.
When I asked myself to think deeper, I feel happy and content when I can comfortably be myself, and nobody minds. When I feel secure that no one’s going to judge me or think differently about me when I am being myself. When my imperfections and everything else in me don’t give any reason for others to think twice but to love me nonetheless.
What makes me happy? Or happiest? It’s when I feel secure. Secure and content of what I have at this moment.
I did mention in the previous post that I’d have “Be Yuko” as my first commandment. But when I thought about it, it wasn’t completely true. Sometimes I wished I was somewhere else, or someone else, or I wished I have done more or differently than what I have done right now. Being myself sometimes disappoints me. And whenever this condemning thoughts of “you’re not doing enough, you should’ve done differently, you’re not good enough” started to take over my head, the only thing that will calm me down is the conviction that my God loves me no matter what.
How so? Because if He doesn’t love me, He wouldn’t even bother creating me in the first place. I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalms 139:14), and this is more than enough to calm my heart on any rainy days. I am secured in His love for me.
I’m not going to be naive and say that everything is okay. As a matter of fact, I know full well that life has its ups and downs. But whatever life may bring forth, I know in Whom I shall confide. When I don’t feel that my day deserves a smile, I want to remember that there’s one Being that loves me no matter what. And His love will never end for me.
This is my fundamental understanding about my life; rain or shine, God loves me. Good day, bad day, God loves me. And no one can take that away from me.
So, Happiness Commandment #1 is : God loves me. Simple, straight-forward, and very true!
ps. here’s a blog I found when browsing about ‘what makes you happy?’. The tip is quite handy, too! and it’s got a short video of Joel Osteen talking about happiness.
Choir co-ordinator informed us that choir ministering on BIC Anniversary Sunday will be wearing colorful shirt with black suit.
“Hun, I need to grab my other shirts from the apartment on Saturday. I’ve only got white with me here”. Hubby said okay, since we will be passing the city anyway on the weekends. Though have resided in the new house in the suburb for a month now, most of my stuff are still in my room in my old apartment in the city. It hasn’t been a problem since I’m working from home so I have no obligation to wear any formal clothes when I go out. Only on Sundays whenever I’m scheduled to minister.
Last Friday and Saturday sessions just happened to drain our energy. My eyes were prickling at the end of practice on Saturday, and Andrew got a headache. After having the much-needed lunch at Peko-Peko with some music team members, we decided to go straight home. Nearing the freeway exit right before our street, a realization dawned on me.
“Hun, I forgot to get my shirts from the apartment.”
I really didn’t want Andrew to drive back to the city. We’ve spent an hour already on the road on the way back. It was the weekend so it was packed everywhere. I told him I’ve got this Myer voucher for womenswear, so might just use it so it wasn’t put to waste. The voucher was a $20 off for every $75 spent. Not too bad, actually. “How about we go to Chadstone? since you’ve got this voucher, you can find a clutch to go with the new dress, too”, hubby suggested.
I was really tired that afternoon. All I wanted was taking a hot shower, put on my pajamas and read on my bed. I wasn’t looking forward to do any shopping at all. And it was Saturday, too, I couldn’t imagine the parking and the crowd. But no choice, the voucher ends on Sunday and I did need to find those stuff.
Apparently, it was easy to find parking. Andrew exclaimed, “thank You, Daddy!” when we found an empty spot right in front of the entrance. We went straight to Myer, and roaming around level 2 to start with. Found no decent work shirt with reasonable price, we went one level below. I was passing one rack of clothes when Andrew picked a peach satin blouse with some frills on the front side and on the arms. I wasn’t too sure since I don’t wear frillies that much.
“But it suits you!”, Andrew insisted. I wasn’t sure whether he said that so we could go home sooner (poor boo-boo), or he was being genuine. But I brought the blouse with me anyway, just in case if I couldn’t find anything else. We continued our search, including me strutting in front of the mirror, trying on various clutches. I wasn’t sure if it was the clutches, or I just wasn’t in the mood of spending. I just couldn’t find a nice one. So here I was, holding a piece of peach satin blouse everywhere, went up and down and around the ladies section, hoping to get more options. I was so picky because I didn’t want to spend too much. The blouse was $59.95, and the clutch was around $60-$70. Picky, or stingy, I don’t know, but I decided not to buy the clutch today. Andrew had left me at this point for the household section, checking up on the price of knife sharpeners for our new knife set.
Having the $60 less 5c blouse with me, now I needed to find something for at least $15.05 so I could redeem the voucher. After around 45 minutes wasted on going in circle looking for a bargain, I finally gave up. My feet sore and I started to feel my head spinning. Andrew came back to see me, and he finally decided for me to just grab the handbag hook. They’re around $20-$25, and I haven’t had one yet. So I grabbed one with crystalize owl embellishment on it for $24.95, and made my way to the cash register, which happened to have no bee-line. I presented my peach frilly blouse picked by Andrew and the hook to the girl, and she scanned them. I also showed her my voucher, and took out my credit card to pay. The girl looked a bit unsure, took the voucher and had a read, and explained,
“this voucher is valid for a total of $75”
My turn to get confused. “uhm, aren’t they around $85 already?”. She scanned the stuff once again, wrinkled her forehead, and said, “these only came up to $34.95”. Andrew looked at me, bewildered. “If that’s so, I’ll just take the blouse”, I finally said, since there was no way I was going to roam around once again only to waste more time and money, vouchers aside. She scanned the blouse, and looked blankly at the monitor, before turning to me and said,
“This one is only $10. It’s got 75% off on it”.
Then I barked a laugh. “Alright I’ll take the blouse!”.
I just couldn’t believe it. We’d wasted more than an hour to look for a nice blouse with a good price. I got sore feet and a backache and light-headed, Andrew needed to do ‘business no.2’, and we were dead tired. I walked around looking for something else, thinking that I wouldn’t buy this one if I’ve got more options when what I needed was in my hand all along! I actually ended up with what I needed for much less that I thought I would spend. Waayy leess. We walked back to the car, shaking our heads in disbelief at how funny this afternoon turned out to be.
And the blouse looked pretty with the black suit! I can actually wear frills, apparently.
I know this might be a trivial example, but I am still amazed at how good is God’s sense of humor! And how He listens. He listened to what I needed the most; I needed a colorful shirt, and I didn’t want to spend too much. And I’ve got exactly that. Amazed, totally amazed.
Hubby couldn’t help himself not to take a small credit from this experience.
“Now you know you can trust your hubby with fashion?”
“Who’s got better taste in fashion, now, huh?”
“So I can be your fashion advisor, now, yea?”
“YEEESSS” *throws toilet roll*
Still, I had a good laugh. I am humbly amazed. And also amusingly humored. My Father is cool and funny, and He listens. I am loved 🙂
Now, I can actually brag about this, since I am never a tech-whiz haha.
The Happiness Commandments widget is ready to use!
It’s located on the right column, with the correct title and link and not actually changing or disturbing anything else on the entire site, unlike what I did last weekend.
Lesson learned; when in doubt or in an unfamiliar situation, seek (calmly, patiently, logically), and you shall find.
Happiness Commandments widget is ready to use. I cheated a bit since I didn’t know how to do it properly. But it serves the purpose, so no worries 🙂
26 March 2012:
uhm.. apparently, it wasn’t a cheat at all. I did a mistake on setting up the widgets, and now I need to fix it but not sure if I can do it haha. I wonder if this theme doesn’t support custom widget. Maybe I should change the theme altogether ?
Nyeh. Maybe not. Not yet. I don’t even know how to construct a simple widget and now I want to change the theme? Relax, will ya.
this is my trial on setting up a new widget.