…only up to its cover. And no more.

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged. And with the measure you use, it will measured to you [Matthew 7:1-2]

Why do we judge?

If we are bold, or humble enough to admit, it is not rare for us to comment on others, especially when it comes to things that don’t suit our perspectives. “He’s so stupid to do that to her..” “Why would she do that?” “What was he thinking??” “I wouldn’t do that if I were her..”, and on, and on, and on. Even when we don’t utter those words verbally, often they cross our minds before we can stop them. 

And why is that so? Because we think we know better, and we want them to think like us. Being an idealist, so to speak, only psychologically. We comment, we judge, because we feel that we know what should be done, but we just don’t bother to make that happen. We’re just spectators, booing a runner or a cyclist from the sideline. Like Pharisees. 

Another reason why we judge is because we feel victimized by what’s been done. “It is okay for me to think this way, because you made me so! Because you give me reasons to do so!” It is soo easy to fall into traps of idealism and self-righteousness when we think that we are the victims. We pity ourselves, we demand people to cater for our self-worth deficiency like it’s some kind of famine, not knowing that by doing this we slowly degrade ourselves. We binge on other’s words and encouragements and soon we’re filled and bloated by empty ‘calories’. We’re fat and unhealthy, and unhappy, eventually. 

I judged someone today, publicly. Well, electronically publicly. And I regretted what I did. I should’ve kept my mouth shut, and should’ve closed my thoughts around that sensitive topic. I should’ve stopped being a mother hen, at least for this person. A popular quote, “don’t judge the book by its cover” hits me on the face, because I just shouldn’t and wouldn’t have anything to do with ‘opening the book and looking inside’ anymore. All that I could do, and comment on was, about the cover. Which was extremely unfair. 

But what’s done is done. I am very sorry. I said that you haven’t changed at all, and that makes the two of us. 

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” [Matthew 7:3-5]. 

And the irony thing was I did sin against the Lord this morning. I’ve got a plank stuck in my eye and I still dare to comment on the sprinkles in your eye? Why?

I only saw you up to your cover. I’m sorry. I have no intention to look deeper anymore, and that’s worth a double apology. 

And this entry is not about you, I’m not cornering you here. It’s entirely about me. About the lesson God was kind enough to bash me with. In his Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren said that “we are like jewels, shaped with the hammer and chisel of adversity. If a jeweler’s hammer isn’t strong enough to chip off our rough edges, God will use a sledgehammer. If we’re really stubborn, He uses a jackhammer. He will use whatever it takes” (chap 25,page 196). The last line sent a shudder through my spine when I read it this afternoon, and I think I experienced that first hand right afterwards. 

I am humbled by His love, and how He is willing to teach me to walk with Him according to His routes and His pace, and today He took me to a small walk through you 🙂 And that’s because He loves you, too 🙂 

Thank You, Lord. I got a feeling I wouldn’t be able to sleep before I do something about what happened today, and I’m glad I wrote this little confession. I can only pray that You will continue to stir up my heart to write and write and write, even though that means humiliations and transparency over my integrity. Just keep chipping off my rough edges, my Magnificent Potter, I shall be ready. 

Good night.

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