bubbly bubbly bubs

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2PWfB4lurT4&feature=fvst]

I’ve been awake for a while now
You’ve got me feelin’ like a child now
Cos everytime I see your bubbly face
I get the tingles in silly place

It starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes, I always know
That you make me smile,
even just for a while
Just take your time
wherever you go 

The rain is fallin’ on my window pane
But we are hidin’ in a safer place
Under cover stayin’ safe and warm
You give me feelings that I adore

It starts in my toes
Makes me crinkle my nose
Wherever it goes, I always know 
That you make me smile
Even just for a while, now
Just take your time
wherever you go

What am I gonna say,
when you make me feel this way ..?
I just, ..mmm ..

I’ve been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cos every time you hold me in your arms
I’m comfortable enough to feel your warmth

It starts in my soul
and I lose all control
When you kiss my nose =)
the feelin’ shows
’cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holdin’ me tight 

Wherever, wherever, wherever you go 

cause you make me smile,
even just for a while 

=)

 

 

whatever ministry you are in,..

remember that, 

the foundation of ministry is character; 
the nature of ministry is service;
the motive of ministry is LOVE;
the measure of ministry is sacrifice;
the authority for ministry is through submission;
the purpose of ministry is for the glory of God,
the tools of ministry are the word of God & prayer;
the privilege of ministry is your personal growth;
the power of ministry is Holy Spirit;

the model of ministry is Jesus Christ.

full moon..

It’s nearing another full moon, marking the first month since I came back from my other hometown, Melbourne. I dare to call her my other hometown because in that wonderful place I was forced and taught to live on my own, where I was trained and pushed to do things that I’d never thought I could do nor would encounter. In that lovely city I found and lost laughters, tears and love. I gained so many new friends, found my soulmates and glad to know that I will always have them no matter how far we are separated by the distance. In that artsy town with quirky sense of humour when it comes to weather, I experienced winning and losing, holding on and giving up, and everything else that allowed me to grow up. I faced the two lowest points of my life so far in the middle of busy semesters, and was saved and restored though it’s still hard to accept that I’m fully healed from all those painful moments. I was captured by God, blinded and overwhelmed by His love till I have no other choice but to love Him back. I am truly blessed that He still cares for me, and however lousy I am when it comes to my devotional time and however far I am from being His good follower, I will not leave Him. Ever. Cos there’s no life outside Him.

A month has gone far too quickly, and I don’t think I have done much. For myself, for my family, and for Him. I’m still struggling with my laziness and lack of urgency to decide what I want in my life, still struggling to keep my mouth shut when required and to fight for my own dream. It seems so hard to move without knocking someone down and hurt some others. This is when I miss Melbourne the most. Life seems so calm and orderly down there. Of course there ARE problems, but you don’t get THIS frustrated, at least. Or so I think.

I really don’t want to complain. Other ex-Melbournians have warned me that the first five months would be the hardest; that so-called stage of denial and transition. Okay, five months from last month (uda jalan sebulan toh?) will be: January. Hmm.. Still too long to go. Add that with the plan of coming back in December for graduation. Hahaha .. another five months after Dec, perhaps? I so don’t want to think about that.

*sigh*
I know I know, I am not supposed to complain. One of my fellow workers (church workers, that is. And you know who you are (; ) told me that if he was in my position he would gladly go home and indulge in the beauty of his motherland. But I guess it’s not the case anymore, since he’s found something (or someone, actually) that bounds him to that city. Hehe… Good luck yah.. if things go wrong you can always come up here and help me out. Not that I’m hoping for that, no no.

As the nights approach another full moon, I keep reminding myself to be patient. To not blame myself and/or others when things don’t come out as I wish them to be. One thing that I’m quite worried about is my inabililty to be consistent and end up losing my focus, and my goal. Going back to Indonesia is a huge challenge when it comes to my ministry and my commitment, since everything is so different here. But I thank God that I have been given a new community, a new FA, which is faarr the opposite of my previous FA Carlton 2. This FA has just multiplied last week, since the members were too many already. I’m the second youngest member there, and it’s such a new experience compared to the old one where I am the ‘mommy’ of FA. We have four married couples, two with babies coming on their ways alias lagi hamil (one of them, ci irene, hamil guedeee she looks like she’s ready to explode anytime), and nobody is still studying. So there’d be no prayer request about exams and assignments hahaha..aww how I’m going to miss that. One of the leaders, Ko Denny, is involved in PW team in church ( I really wonder if God chooses the name Daniel, Denny, and Danny as the Levi of this new age because I’ve found so many people with those names involved in praise and worship team, including my boyfriend), I might ask for his help to get me into the ministry so I’ll be back on track. Most of the members in that FA are mature in Christ, and I can see how I can learn even more with this new family. I might share some points next time 🙂

Patience, passion, persistence. I guess I have those three as my keywords to go through the rest of my transition stage. In my persistence to keep my focus I shall not forget that the greatest of all is love, as Paul said in 1 Cor 13:13, so I don’t turn my dreams into a carnal ambition. The moulding time for this small vessel of me has come, and may I be patient during those time so I won’t nudge God’s hands or I’d end up a knobbly vessel.

Have a marvelously blessed weekend, my friends!

umm.. my boxes from Melbourne arrived this morning. As bad as they looked (the sides are actually ripped, and they looked like they’ve been soaked in water :s), I felt a jolt in my heart when I saw them. Those stuff are just half of what I’ve had during my five years in Melbourne. My Melbourne, that I can’t really claim as mine anymore. 

It’s been a week and three days since I changed my address, a postcode 3000 to a 60238. During those times I have travelled 1300km across the island of Java for a business purpose and encountered tens of public toilets with various degrees of sanitation *shivers*, I have cleaned and rearrange my wardrobe, celebrated my mom’s birthday and got the chance to meet my cousins, learned to work on media orders for my dad and watched my boyfriend’s playing at the annual orchestral event. 

All good. On the surface. 

It’s not that I’m not happy to be home. I’m in my own country, in my own home, surrounded by my family and my boyfriend. I can’t say I’m not happy. I just feel.. lifeless. Some said I’m still in denial (haha), basically not accepting that I am not a Melbournian anymore. Why I haven’t been able to cry until right at this moment still puzzles me. My mom was on the brink of tears when I hugged her on the evening of my arrival. I wanted to cry, too!! but I just can’t. The problem might lay on this specific character of mine, which tend not to think of things over too seriously. To just face and do whatever available in front of me. Do it wholeheartedly, of course, by all means, but without considering any other options. In short, I don’t like making choices of my own. I let others do it for me, just to minimize the fuss. Or so I thought. 

I’m in the middle of reading a book by Jentezen Franklin, recommended by a dear friend of mine, titled Believe that You Can. So far, each page has either slapped me or opened my eyes. Another thing is that it gives me hope. It gives me courage to actually believe that I can make my dream come true someday. If I persist enough, if I insist on not quitting too soon. 

I’ve got some many thoughts and entries about my plans and dreams, a promise to change. But I guess the time has come for me to not just talk about it, but to pay the price and do something about it. Most of the time I just don’t know where to start. 

 

this entry was intended to be posted on Aug 19, 2009 at 9.41pm