little envy

I’ve been struck by a pang of jealousy for tens of times today, from looking at couples. Couples walking hand in hand, couples laughing and looking happy, couples sitting in City Circle Tram and gazing into each other’s eyes. Love can be so perfect at times. 

I hate being bitter. I hate being envious over other’s happiness. It’s not that I don’t want them to be happy – I don’t even know them – it’s just that I want to be one of that happy couple. Is there any perfect love ? 

People go through tears and sadness to recognize laughters and joy. Does it also apply to love, that you should go through rejection and disappointment to grasp what love feels like ? Will people appreciate more of love once they’ve tasted the pain and sorrow of losing ? 

I want to scream “WHY? WHY? please, not again..”. But aren’t love about giving, and forgiving? About learning, and accepting? If you don’t give and forgive, learn and accepting, then would people believe that you’re loving ? Would you yourself believe so ?  

If this is the journey that I have to walk through, then I won’t run away. Besides, you have to go through the rain if you want to see the rainbow. And it’s been freakin’ long to see that rainbow of mine. I should definitely find a way on not to feel or turn hostile on those poor, happy couples on the street.

Oh I’m such a freak. I think I need some sweets.

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